2018 in 100 moments or recurring moments, and a few people and places, mostly great, but not entirely, from personal experience only:

1. Sandra Bernhard at Joe’s Pub.

2. The final, frenzied week of Guillermo del Toro: At Home with Monsters.

3. Working on a new exhibition for the fall of 2020. I won’t divulge much, but it will be film-based (but not exactly). I will be working with Rick Prelinger, meta-archivist and outsider librarian. I’m really excited about it. That’s all I can say.

4. Programming a large (3200 people) annual conference for recovering alcoholics, a huge, if daunting, honour. Working with dozens of others in the program to make this happen.

5. Daily contact, live or otherwise, with other people in my recovery fellowship.

6. Watching Rainer Werner Fassbinder’s The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant at the Lightbox, and being reminded what a crazy, relentless, beautiful film it was (a “downer” on the surface like much - most? - great art, but always the opposite of that simply for being made)

7. Bidding adieu to my mother, Martha Marie Shedden (née Boudreau), 1937-2018. This was a sad affair, of course, and one I was reminded of yesterday (December 30), her birthday, but anyone who has experienced a relative being taken by Alzheimer’s/dementia will know that there is also a sense of relief for the suffering when this happens. R.I.P.

8. Being able to support Meredith’s decision, which she had 6 hours to make, to move from U of T to Sheridan College to the coveted and intense Musical Theatre program. This all seems like the way it was meant to be now, but the journey was not so straightforward

9. Saying farewell to Amy Lam, who worked as an editor in our small department. Amy, who is well known as one half of the conceptual/performance duo, Life of a Craphead, has taken up a research position working with Sean O’Neill on his new White Pines/CBC arts documentary (which, from what I’ve seen, is quite excellent)

10. Finishing, finally, Theaster Gates: The Making of a House Museum, which turned out to be quite a book! We made something that is essential reading for anyone interested in Gates’s work. Great working with Kitty, Debbie, Sameer, Gina, Amy, and Robyn to make this book.

11. Learning from Rebecca Belmore, Wanda Nanibush and Lisa Kiss.

12. Walking into the reconsidered, redesigned and reinstalled Indigenous and Canadian Galleries at the AGO.

13. Jordan Tanahill’s Declarations at CanStage.

14. Kenojuak Ashevak + Tim Pitsiulak +  Koomuatuk (Kuzy) Curley + Taqralik Partridge + Jocelyn Piirainen + Laakkuluk Williamson Bathory + Georgiana Uhlyarik, + Anna Hudson

15. Working with Barbara Sternberg, Mike Zryd, and Stephen Broomer to move our book on Canadian avant-garde cinema along (forthcoming from Goose Lane Editions sometime in the next several years. Progress is slow, but we are determined because we know there is a need for such a text.

16. Many screenings with ad hoc, an ad hoc (indeed) film exhibition collection consisting of Stephen Broomer, Katia Houde, Daniel McIntyre, Cameron Moneo, Madi Piller, Claudia Sicondolfo, Tess Takahashi, and myself. There were many great screenings but highlights for me included Abraham Ravett, David Morris, Erin Espelie, and Stephen Broomer in person with their films, as well as a great Storm de Hirsch program, obscurities from Canyon Cinema, and a handful of others.

17. My MRI. I was intrigued by the industrial noise soundtrack. I was happy that nothing seems to be wrong with my brain according to the MRI, but also frustrated to hear that because I know something’s wrong with my brain. I am seeing a neurologist in a couple of weeks.

18. Seeing Bruce Elder’s Lamentations after many, many years.

19. Interviewing Bruce Elder at the book launch for Cubism and Futurism.

20. Michael Snow’s 90th birthday party events.

21. Be More Chill, the music as suggested to me and played on YouTube and Spotify by Meredith.

22. Be More Chill, off-Broadway, at the Gehry-designed Pershing Square Signature Center, now one of my favourite theatres anywhere.

23. Be More Chill, presented by Bravo Academy’s space, Associate Directed by Meredith.

24. BlacKKKlansman, directed by Spike Lee. Beautifully constructed, occasionally comic but ultimately devastating.

25. Discovering, finally, how much I loved Schubert.

26. Dialogues with Solitude, a new look at David Heath’s photographic career, especially his groundbreaking book A Dialogue with Solitude (1965). I treasure Heath’s work.

27. Robert Burley’s An Enduring Wilderness: Toronto’s Natural Parklands.

28. Continuing to advise, in a low-key way, Sara Angel on her extremely successful and rigorous Art Canada Institute project.

29. A handful of trips to Montréal. Connecting with friends, colleagues and family. Shooting some of our film.

30. The Leonard Cohen exhibition at the Musée d’art contemporain in Montréal. Strangely earnest, beautiful, engaging, celebratory, and profound. I think I will be greatly inspired by this exhibition for a long time.

31. William Finn’s A New Brain, presented by the Victoria College Drama Society. This musical was selected by Meredith, who was going to direct it, but then she decamped to Sheridan. VCDS went ahead with it anyhow. I have to say that it was the best student theatre presentation I’ve ever seen. Aside from the very edgy, audacious and sometimes absurd book/music/lyrics, I loved everything about it the production, but especially the actual performances, which were intense, hilarious and poignant.

32. Learning much from Mickalene Thomas and Julie Crooks.

33. Everyday that I work with my assistant, Robyn Lew.

34. Hiring Sarah Liss to be our senior editor. Sarah has much editing experience, but is also a music journalist, and a great human being to boot.

35. Scott, in Framing, calling me to say that he thought they had some of my personal stuff in the shop. Among other things, it turns out they had a work that Carolee Schneemann made for me back in 1992. Totally forgot about it. Time to get it framed somewhere!

36. Kathë Kollwitz! Thanks for your patience and persistence Brenda Rix.

37. A renewed interest in zines.

38. Our ambitious, but compact, Anthropocene book. Thanks to the artists Ed Burtynsky, Jennifer Baichwal, and Nick de Pencier, curators Sophie Hackett, Andrea Kunard, and Urs Stahel, as well as Gilbert and Alina, Sarah, Amy and Robyn, Guy and Lucas, Karla, Susanne, Guy and Lucas.

39. Tributes and Tributaries: done, good, out there, another perspective on Toronto during the 70s and 80s.

40. Checking myself into the hospital after a particularly painful and blood-inducing colonoscopy. It wasn’t a pleasant experience in any way, but it did give me some time to think about mortality.

41. Hanging out with Lynn Crosbie a bunch of times over the year, and, from her (from the late Ann Sexton in fact), getting the perfect title for our film, Music Swims Back to Me.

42. Embarking on a new feature-length documentary with my friend and collaborator, Peter McAuley.

43. In particular, interviewing Dave Marsden and Gary Topp, two people who I didn’t know back in the day, but who I am grateful to know now, given how much they guided the course of my life. I could say the same of Elliot Lefko, but I actually knew him back in the day, and worked with him for a while. Carl Wilson somehow belongs on this list too (I barely knew him when I interviewed him, but I’ve been inspired by his writing for many years now).

44. But interviewing Shellie and Meredith Shedden was great, too, in different ways, as was interviewing John Stewart, Kelly McKinley and Ella McKinley Stewart.

45. Interviewing Lisa Godfrey was great, but I’m also thrilled that she agreed to interview me.

46. It was also a great pleasure to interview so many friends from the past, most of whom played a big role in my musical biography, simply for being fans like myself, and probably indulging my excessive enthusiasms, people like David Keyes, Kate MacKay, Chris Harper, Barbara Goslawski, Blair Dickie (!), Mike Zryd, Lori Brklacich, Sara Heinonen, Ruth Silver, Marc de Guerre, Alberta and Guy, Tracy Jenkins, Richard Kerr, Jessica Gogan.

47. Alan Zweig and Rick Campbell contributed at least as many, words (if not more) to 1000 Songs, so I’m glad I was able to include them. Their interviews were great.

48. Lisa Shedden is in a category of her own as far as influencing my musical consciousness.

49. Stephanie Burdzy ad Laura Robb are also in a category of their own. As what? Young people who are hearing music relatively free of the baggage that prevents real listening. I think the same could be said of Phina Lewin.

50. Corktown Commons.

51. Grange Park.

52. Trinity-Bellwoods, still, after al these years.

53. The view of Toronto from Broadview and Bain-ish.

54. Helping Meredith with her podcast, Opening Doors. We posted five episodes, put one on hold, and put the whole project on hold while Meredith gets used to Sheridan. I think we will revive it shortly. This year it was particularly rewarding to interview Evan Buliung.

55. Visiting The Mattress Factory (Pittsburgh) after many years. Enjoying the Kusamas again.

56. Digging around the archives at the Andy Warhol Museum.

57. Being immersed in The Performing Arts Project at Wake-Forest University in North Carolina, the end of a three week intensive that Meredith attended.

58. The ICA in Richmond, Virginia. There are hundreds of institutions like this, always surprising and frequently great. Richmond was particularly provocative and poetic. 

59. Washington D.C. where I was last about 13 years ago, very briefly, and before that for one of those famed American History tours back in high school. I wasn’t able to do much, but I did visit the American Museum of African-American History and Culture and was blown away at everything they do. This isn’t the place to do a full-fledged review, except to say that I think it’s one of the most intelligent, exciting, responsive, radical museums I’ve ever seen.

60. And then there’s the MFA in Boston. Shellie and I spent a day there, gob-smacked as they say. Matthew Teitelbaum took some time out of his extremely busy schedule to shoot the breeze with us, and then to tour us around to make sure didn’t miss any of his favourite masterpieces.

61. I pretty much hated Syracuse, but mainly because I can tell that it used to be a great city, one that became rather damaged and is now trying to recreate its greatness around a megamall. Has that ever worked people? In any case, spending close to a day in Syracuse was an important moment in 2018, albeit depressing.

62. Carousel on Broadway, though I wasn’t able to see the whole thing. It’s such a great musical, twisted and awkward, but with great songs and dances.

63. Ke$he’s “Praying.”

64. The Beatles (White Album) Super Deluxe. Those “Esther” sessions recorded at George Harrison’s farm are heaven. What a treat to suddenly have all this Beatles material emerge out of nowhere (or so it seems to a fan like me).

65. David Chang’s Netflix series, Ugly Delicious. The first episode, dedicated to pizza, is brilliant fun.

66. The Mueller Investigation and the network of parallel activity around it. I am deeply immersed in CNN, NPR, the New York Times, the New Yorker, the Guardian, Slate podcasts, MSNBC, and so forth. I can’t get away from it. I’m learning so much about the American people, the nature of tyranny, the strengths and weaknesses of American democracy. I want it to end; I don’t want it to end.

67. Watergate. The above has renewed my interest in Watergate, which was the moment that I became deeply interested in politics (when I was 10/11, back in 1974). I find it fascinating when John Dean is on CNN on panels with Carl Bernstein.

68. Marilyn Minter’s 2016 Planned Parenthood series with Miley Cyrus. I’m a little late to the party.

69. Queen Books!

70. Vintage clothes shopping.

71. Stephen Broomer’s film Potamkin.

72. Thinking about del Toro again for a short piece Laura Robb and I wrote for new edition of a book on Pan’s Labyrinth and The Devil’s Backbone.

73. Thinking about the 1992 Finnegans Wake reading that David Morris, Kate ad I organized. I am writing a short piece on the occasion for book on Finnegans Wake that Peter O’Brien is editing on the FW phenomenon.

74. Jane Siberry: listening to the entire oeuvre again. This is 10% nostalgia for me, and 90% listening with new ears.

75. Learning a lot about Impressionism in the Industrial Age really fast. Thanks to Caroline and Carolyn. Book to emerge in February.

76. Same with Rubens, though we have been working on that project for a long time. There are some great works that are part of the exhibition and book, including Death of Medussa.

77. Passiflora (NFB), thanks to Claudia Sicondolfo.

78. Mel Tormé, Steve and Edyie, Diana Krall, Andy Williams.

79. Frank Sinatra, still on his own.

80. Nancy Sinatra and Lee Hazelwood.

81. Thinking about my next “zine”, one to follow up DIY 1975-1989.

82. Seeing Chantal Akerman’s News from Home, and suddenly realizing it was one of my favourite films. That happened at the BAMPFA in October, 2017, but it kept resonating through 2018.

83. The Toronto Public Library: the Reference Library and every single branch I’ve been in. A place where I come to recharge (literally), sit, meditate (as it turns out), read, and simply take refuge. One of my favourite things about the city. Very grateful.

84. My neighbours. We have lived in our town house for about 18 years and we are very close to our neighbours. It’s such a great situation. We are best friends with some, good friends with most, and acquaintances with the most introverted and quite among them. We are very lucky that the design of neighbourhood makes this possible and likely. We are also luck that are neighbours are such great people. 2018 was a difficult year for our immediate neighbours (33 townhouse units over four rows), but we got through it with a certain amount of serenity and acceptance.

85. San Francisco beaches.

86. The Prelinger Library.

87. Whatever used book stores I find, whether in Toronto, Berkeley, Oakland, or wherever.

88. Scott Walker, still.

89. Jim Henson at the Museum of the Moving Image.

90. Madi Piller and her PIX studio where I get to show films and see films (and ad hoc did a screening of Madi’s films in her backyard in Don Mills! It was extra great when the coyotes provided the soundtrack).

91. Pier 24, photography mecca in San Francisco.

92. Blackbird Bakery bread.

93. Re-reading The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus.

94. The 20 minutes I’ve seen of Cuaron’s Roma (so far).

95. Canzine, Zine Dream, Meet the Presses, Toronto Small Press Book Fair.

96. Switched on Pop (podcast).

97. Proper Tales Press, Insomniac Press…

98. Wikipedia

99. Writing

100. Sleeping (trying to)