"I cannot endure to waste anything so precious as autumnal sunshine by staying in the house." - Nathaniel Hawthorne

And then suddenly the autumn light is here. I don't remember it being here two days ago. It's sharp and crisp and so bright but I can't wear sunglasses because I'm afraid I'll squander its fleeting presence. For I know that these clear skies and intense light will give way to months of grey.

I am attracted to this light the way I'm attracted to that melancholic state just before depression, that feeling of reflective calm that isn't quite happiness, but is a stillness. It's precarious of course: which is why I associate this time of year (in the past) with falling in love and horrible breakups, creative exuberance and self-absorbed intoxication.

"But when fall comes, kicking summer out on its treacherous ass as it always does one day sometime after the midpoint of September, it stays awhile like an old friend that you have missed. It settles in the way an old friend will settle into your favorite chair and take out his pipe and light it and then fill the afternoon with stories of places he has been and things he has done since last he saw you." - Stephen King, Salem's Lot